Tags: language

OK - James

Nationality Varieties

I work with someone from India, two from Portugal and one from New Zealand.

All four are lovely people, but I do enjoy hearing some of their questions, some of their thoughts.

This morning Chandu and I were chatting while we were waiting for a patient and I mentioned Mum & Dad in passing.  He said that he hadn't wanted to upset me, but was concerned with how I was coping now they had dissappeared.  That was a phrase I found unusual, although later it actually helped me think about what I do miss about them.

Mind you, it works both ways as they all either get confused, or laugh about some of my phrasings.
James - buzz cut & name.

Up!

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'.

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so… it is time to shut UP!

Now it's UP to you what you do with this information!
James - Exam time

Homographs & Heteronyms !

Homographs are words of the same spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is pronounced differently is a heteronym.

I needed that English lesson ... so hope you now know what I mean. Here goes:-


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Confused - HPI

The Craziness Of The English Language!

Let's face it – English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly... boxing rings are square... and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese... So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. — Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?
What?

Oxymorons

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

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James - Exam time

Anagrams

As anyone who knows me soon learns, English language is not "my" subject!  Just ask my Beta if you don't believe me.  However I can appreciate clever work when I see it.  I was sent this by e-mail and thought I would share ... even if you've seen it before, it's still worth looking at again.


PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER


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Adventure before dementia

More Proof ... If I Needed It!

As you know I am pulling out of the profession, for a variety of reasons.

One of the reasons is that I am not impressed with how the profession is going ... within our own ranks!

When I was at college (1979-1983) I actually failed 2 exams the first time I took them.  Most of you will guess the reason - bad English grammer ... it is something I have always struggled with, and for those who have seen my fics (especially my Beta), you will know it's a problem.  And, those who read my general LJ scribbles will know I fight a losing battle most of the time.

However I am aware of it, and while at college, it was picked up on, pulled apart and I was pushed to concentrate and improve.

Now we come to the reason for the Grrrrrr ... As part of the course, now, the 4th years have to do a survey of some sort, and write a report on the answers.  To do that they contact a random selection of the profession and we have about 20 questions to answer on a variety of subjects.  So far, OK.

However yesterday I received a surveya sking about my thought on business building (which made me smile, seeing as I am at the other end of the scale!0 ... but my moan ...

I couldn't actually understand what 2 of the questions were asking.

Yes, I read your journals, I have friends round the world, of all ages and backgrounds, but a final year degree student and I can't understand what she is asking me.

I'm sorry, but it's "another nail in the coffin" ... I may not be good at language skills, but at least I know it, and was checked at college.

Where are the tutors?