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Eternal Refuge
Because Everyone Needs Dreams.
I Need To Fight Back 
29th-Apr-2012 02:45 pm
Buffy - with sword
As I said on Friday my Buffy re-watch was painful this time ... and gave me a hard day yesterday of feeling very alone and un-wanted. Sad to think that 35 - 40 years on the sheer mention of bullying brings such heartaching pain.

Anyway, I must win - "she" is not going to win!

Today in Church we sang a modern version of the 23rd Psalm ... and it reminded me of verse 4 of the Psalm -

"Yea, though I walk through the valley (of the shadow of death) you are with me"

.... A valley is dark, but you come out the other side, to a new view, a new start.

29th-Apr-2012 03:22 pm (UTC)
Positive thinking for the win :) There is *always* a light.
29th-Apr-2012 07:19 pm (UTC)
I keep fighting back ... it does get slightly easier each time.
(Deleted comment)
29th-Apr-2012 07:20 pm (UTC)
Valleys are good - they lead elsewhere.

However I seem to keep going back to the dark corner of mine ... one day I will learn not to!
29th-Apr-2012 04:14 pm (UTC)
Ok lass

Time to get with some positive affirmations. Find a mirror, stand in front of it and say " I am strong, I am worthwhile. I have made something good of my life and I am proud of it!"

Because you are and you have

She did not win, she will not win!
29th-Apr-2012 07:23 pm (UTC)

Funny thing is that one thing I have a major problem with is mirrors ... I absolutly hate looking in them. However I do keep trying to fight my demons.

LJ has brought me friends who have helped me fight - so over these last few years I have fought ... but years of brainwashing is hard to fight against.

29th-Apr-2012 08:10 pm (UTC)
Well the thing with mirrors is another point of the affirmations.

You're beautiful! You're talented, you work hard at an important job, you take care of your family, you made a very difficult decision to switch careers, move homes.. start again. You found the courage to come up to London for that gig ... first time I met you and I'm proud to count you as a friend

You need to start believing in yourself
30th-Apr-2012 07:26 am (UTC)
*g* - yes, I am forever thankful we are friends ... and you are one of those people I remember when I met as it was such a "big" day for me ... meeting you, of course ;)

I have learnt to accept that so much about my life and be positive about a lot of it ... but mirrors and me, and what I look like, has still got a long way to go!

One day I may get there!

Thanks Deb for being a good (and patient) friend.
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