Deborah (debris4spike) wrote,

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Just Some Points To Think About!

I realised that it's ages since I have shared one of those mad e-mails .... so here is today's offering ....

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 
Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 
Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 
Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. 
Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 
Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 
Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 
Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. 

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. 

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks. 
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it. 

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". 

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 
Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on I said "Implants?" 

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ? 
Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 
Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! 
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. 

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. 
Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. 

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 
Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. 

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. 
Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 
Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. 
Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. 

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. 

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid. 
Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 
Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever. 

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. 

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child? 

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Tags: fun, rl

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