Top.Mail.Ru
? ?
Eternal Refuge
Because Everyone Needs Dreams.
The Rules - According To Men!! 
31st-Jul-2007 06:36 pm
Adventure before dementia
I have just read this on coffeecat77 journal - so thought I would share with you all!

MEN'S RULES

Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely any thing you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Comments 
31st-Jul-2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
LOL and I wondered why it was all number "1"
31st-Jul-2007 06:27 pm (UTC)
I think it might be a guy thing.
31st-Jul-2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
I think it says on the top bit that men only like to make one point!

Still - thought it linked in great with the list you posted over the weekend!
31st-Jul-2007 08:41 pm (UTC)
Who, me? Ah I see what you mean. I have some similar ones and the next birthday is tomorrow. ;-)
31st-Jul-2007 08:43 pm (UTC)
*points to icon*
1st-Aug-2007 07:03 am (UTC)
Glad to be of service!!
31st-Jul-2007 11:01 pm (UTC) - Surfed on over on Elisi's rec...
Cute list. Frighteningly true. Re: #1... (the "You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself" #1)--my husband steadfastly avoids doing... pretty much whatever, then AS SOON as he sees me start to do it, he comes over to shoulder me aside to do it. It can be something as stupid as "me fully dressed, about to take out the garbage," and he'll come over and take the bag from me, dressed only in underwear. (Um, I'm dressed, honey.) But there's more than that. He'll do it, and screw it up. I've told him "plastic on the top rack of the dishwasher, dear," but I cannot tell you how many things he melts.

And yet I love him, the big galoot.
1st-Aug-2007 07:11 am (UTC) - Re: Surfed on over on Elisi's rec...
They are lovely creatures aren't they!!

Mind you - I am single at the moment - so I can say that!!

PS
Welcome to the madness of my world - I have friended you back.
1st-Aug-2007 07:53 am (UTC)
This is excellent.*gigggles*
1st-Aug-2007 04:11 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it!
1st-Aug-2007 03:04 pm (UTC)
I loved it and sadly, often very true. :)
1st-Aug-2007 04:16 pm (UTC)
Yes that was scary - I am single so was able to laugh at the comments - but it still made me think of the males I am friends with - or my brothers (just don't tell them!!)
2nd-Aug-2007 01:17 am (UTC)
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

BWAHAHAHAHHA!!!
That's soooo funny!
2nd-Aug-2007 06:57 am (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it ... don't know whether I should forward it to my brothers!!
This page was loaded Mar 2nd 2024, 7:05 am GMT.