Deborah (debris4spike) wrote,
Deborah
debris4spike

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New Alphabet


My cousin, who is 95, has just e-mailed this to me ... and thought I would share it.

It rings a lot of bells for me - some of you, it will just give you a hint of joys to come!!

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float !
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead
.

Now The Alphabet:

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
perhaps car-d-iac ?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line !
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H . high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I . for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex ?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow !
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new !
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu ?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears !
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, NOW what's going 'round ?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed !!!

Tags: fun
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