Deborah (debris4spike) wrote,

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How Not To Word An Advert -

I know that we have all seen a few of these, but I have just read this list on kalinda001  s LJ and just had to share with you all -

Classified Ads:
* Lost: small apricot poodle. reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

* A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine foods expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
* Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
* For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
* For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
* Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
* Now is the perfect time to get your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too!
* Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory
* We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
* For Sale. Three canaries of undetermined sex.
* 7 ounces of choice sirloin, steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings.
* Great Dames for sale.
* Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
* Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
* Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
* If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fountain and Chopin.
* Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
* The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds and other athletic facilities.
* Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
* Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
* Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
* This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes & Gardens.
* For Sale - Diamonds $20,00; microscopes $15.00.
* For Rent: 6 room hated apartment.
* Man, honest. Will take anything.
* Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200.00 a month. References required.
* Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
* Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
* Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
* Modular Sofas. Only $299.00. For rest or fore play.
* Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
* Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
* 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
* Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
* Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
* See ladies blouses. 50% off!
* Wanted. Preparer of food. Must be dependable like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.
* Illiterate? Write today for free help.
* Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
* Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
* Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating
* Mother's helper - peasant working conditions.
* Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.
* And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
* We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00

Tags: fun

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