I have just posted my second offering of the day for my seasonal_spuffy</lj> challenge and am X-posting it here, for my own convenience, and again for any who are not members of that community.
I had been watching Season 2 of BtVS and had alsways thought that spike should have been involved in this episode ... so here is my version of what actually happened!!
Story Name - Corrected Vision
Rating - G
Word count - 4,800
Spoliers - Up to and including Season 2 episode - "I Only Have Eyes For You"
The story starts during this episode, and are my thoughts on what may have happened had spike been a witness to Buffy and Angel's meeting.
Disclaimer - I don't own anything (although like the rest of you, would love to have Spike! ... no profit is being made.
Finally - Huge and mega thanks to mabel_marsters</lj> for coping with me, and being a super Beta ... Thanks, you are the best.
Chapter 1 – “I Only Have Eyes For You”
A/N: - a few lines of dialogue are taken for, “I Only Have Eyes For You”, Season 2, BtVS. They are in italics.
Spike’s face broke into a smile, as he made his way towards their room. During the last few weeks he had learnt how to manoeuvre himself around the building from the confines of his wheelchair. The smile, however, was sad as he realised that it was no longer his presence that was allowing Dru to sing in that soft voice of hers. Not long ago, and for years before that, the song would have been of pleasure in his skill. Now he knew that his grandsire was the person that she was thinking about.
He continued wheeling down the corridor, because whatever she might think of him, he still adored her. Spike knew that he would have to put up with seeing Angelus in the room with her, but to see his dark princess looking happy he would put up with the humiliation. If he was lucky, Angelus wouldn’t sense him and he could leave again before anything hurtful was said.
Shagged out – yes, she was well and truly exhausted, whilst Angelus was ...
Where was he? Why had he left Dru at such a time? Why wasn’t he just basking in her ecstatic pleasure?
So, where was he?
Dru was too tired to even be aware that Spike had moved into the room. He sat and concentrated, and then realised that Angelus’ presence was no longer nearby. He quietly propelled himself out of the room and focussed on his grandsire to try to locate him.
Fortunately, Angelus had not long since left the mansion, and so his trail was fairly easy to trace. Spike decided to make life easier for himself by leaving the chair in one of the unused rooms and following on foot. He didn’t want his ‘family’ to discover his returned agility just yet, but he wanted to know what was going on.
The path led him to the high school. But Spike had never seen such a school as this. He thought that after one hundred plus years of being a vampire that he had seen most things, but he had reckoned without The Hellmouth.
There were wasps.
As he quietly approached the building he noticed that he wasn’t the only spectator. The advantage he had was that he could actually enter the building without having a problem with the swarm. Being a vampire had brought about many changes in Spike’s life, one of which was that insects tended to shun him. He avoided the audience and entered by a side door.
The atmosphere in the building was wrong. It was too silent, with an overlying heaviness, which was not normal. Spike smiled to himself knowing that he was thinking in human terms. Normality was not something he would ever admit to others that he pondered. He knew that Angelus, and even Dru, would try to torture these beliefs out of him. Dru was happy to allow him to worship her, but she didn’t like to think that those feelings came from the heart.
Spike continued to walk noiselessly down the hall, where he slowly became aware of his grandsire’s presence. He re-focussed on the reason for this investigation and walked onwards. As he got closer he realised that Angelus was not alone. He was having a heated conversation with The Slayer.
“A person doesn’t just wake up one day and stop loving somebody. Love is forever.”
As Buffy’s voice clearly rang through the building, it stopped Spike in his tracks. For whatever reason, she had stated a fact that Spike truly believed and as his mind continued to consider this, he lost track of what was happening.
Spike was shocked out of his thoughts by sounds of a gun-shot, followed by that of a body hitting the ground. To his surprise he realised that he was worried that it was Buffy who had been shot. Spike had always considered her to be a stunning fighter and didn’t want her death to come in such a way. She deserved to go out in hand-to-hand combat, at the hands of a greater opponent, if one could be found.
To his surprise, he then heard the words of a song from the 1930’s filtering through his mind. As he slowly made his way towards the sound, he spotted Angelus standing up and also entering the room where the song was coming from. Nothing about this evening was turning out like Spike expected. Instead of The Slayer, it had been his grandsire that had been shot.
Spike watched as the two lovers-turned-enemies slowly danced and then kissed, before Angelus whirled around and ran away, with a look of complete horror on his face. Buffy, on the other hand, just looked so sad to have awakened from their dream-like state, to lose her lover all over again.
Spike took one further look at the devastated girl, and then hurried back to the mansion, as he didn’t want his absence to be noted. He was almost too late, but Angelus was so upset, that it was not a problem.
Spike raced to get back in his chair and wheeled himself towards the courtyard, where he saw a distraught vampire being comforted by an equally agitated one. Angelus broke away from Dru’s embrace to stand under the fountain, scrubbing hard at his flesh, giving Spike the perfect opportunity to announce his presence with a sarcastic comment.
“Shower not working indoors, Angelus? Or you just want to show the minions what they are missing out on?”
“What do you know about it? I’m the one who was friggin’ violated. You didn’t have this thing in you,” Angelus snarled.
“What was it? A Demon?” Dru tried to find out the reason for her Daddy’s distress.
“Poor Angel.” Dru’s answer was predictable. As Spike had learnt over the last century, love was not something that she could truly accept.
The shower over, Angelus grabbed a shirt, knowing that his leather trousers would dry with time, and then he and Dru headed off into the night. Angelus refused to have Spike with them, even though Dru had offered.
“Try to have fun without me.” Was Angel’s parting comment as he went out to enjoy the darkness.
“Oh I will. Sooner than you think.”
Spike slowly stood up, kicked the chair out of his way with a growl, and headed out into the night. He had a lot to think about, and wanted to do it away from the confines of the residence.
# # #
“He was so sad. Part of me still doesn’t understand why she could forgive him.” Buffy was quietly trying to talk through her emotions with Giles.
“Does it matter?”
“No, I guess not.”
She knew that the more she learnt about love, the less she understood. Angel had loved her, and yet Angelus didn’t. Giles had reminded her that forgiveness was an act of compassion, and she could see how these long-dead lovers could relate to that, but she didn’t think that she could ever come close to pardoning Angelus for all he had done. Jenny, so many un-named citizens of Sunnydale, and even Willow’s fish. Would she ever be able to forgive him, and if she did would she still be able to stake him?
“I’m going patrolling.” Buffy announced as she walked out of the room. Giles made a half-hearted attempt to stop her, but he knew that she needed to feel in control again. So much of Buffy’s life had changed in the last year.
Her first step to becoming an adult, only to find that the man she adored had changed - during that special occasion.
All in all Buffy’s life was spiralling out of control. Now she had to cope with being dragged into an old tragedy, to feeling the pleasure of love once more, and to lose it again in the same instance.
Chapter 2 – Looking Backwards
Her steps were very slow as she made her way through some of the many cemeteries that Sunnydale had. Fortunately it was a quiet night. Maybe the general tension that had invaded her had also taken over the town, and everyone was keeping a low profile.
After several minutes she sat down on the edge of a stone that was a favourite seat of hers. Mrs Bobby Wright had heard many of her personal debates over the past few weeks. Not that she gave an opinion, of course, but Buffy found her to be a good listener and she could see most of the town from her vantage point.
Tonight, Buffy was so full of conflicting emotions; she didn’t even know where to start. She sat and thought about James. How he could love someone so much and yet kill them? About Angel, and how his love had died in a moment of bliss.
“You were right!” The voice broke through her contemplations.
“Thanks - what?” Buffy didn’t really make sense, and she knew it. The statement had come as a shock, both because of the fact that she hadn’t known that anyone was there and also that the person talking to her was a vampire.
“I said, you ... were ... right.” Spike spoke slowly, as if to an elderly person. “What you said tonight.”
“Umm. What? When?” Buffy still couldn’t get her voice and her brain to co-ordinate. “What are you talking about, Spike?”
“Tonight, when you were chatting to the poof, you said that love doesn’t die. I just wanted you to know that it’s true, what you said. Whatever Dru does, I will always love her.” He explained in a sad tone. Buffy just sat looking at him, as if she was in shock, when he settled himself on a monument opposite.
“What are you doing here?” She managed to get her thoughts together. “Didn’t I last see you in a wheelchair?”
“Yeah, I got better. But, just so you know, the others think I am still stuck in that chair. You did well, Slayer, I gotta hand it to you.”
“Wow. So you are getting better.” Buffy stated the obvious. “Vampire healing must be like my Slayer healing.”
“Won’t be long ‘til I can be back where I belong.” He paused, as he realised that he was wrong in his hopes. “Not that I will be with my Dark Princess, but at least I will be able to eat regularly again.”
“Eww, Spike. Don’t remind me of why I should stake you now.”
“Sorry, Slayer. Just saying.”
“So, what was it you were saying when you got here?” Buffy returned the conversation to a more neutral ground.
“You told Angelus that love doesn’t just die. I just wanted to tell you that whatever he’s tried to do to you, you were right. True love is always there.”
“So you’re saying I will never love again? Thanks for that.”
“No. You got me wrong, Slayer. Love doesn’t die, but in a lifetime you can love more than one person.”
“So, Spike, have you?”
“I love Dru.”
“That’s not what we are talking about, is it? Have you ever loved anyone else? That’s what I want to know.”
"Her name was Cecily." Finally, Spike admitted the name of his first love. "She was someone who I knew back when I was still human. She didn't love me, but that's not the point of this 'ere chat, is it?"
"What happened?" Buffy began to realise that other people in the world have had bad experiences in their choice of love.
"She publically rejected a conversation that I was having with her." Spike deliberately omitted the fact that he had written a poem about her. "I was upset and went for a walk. It was then that I bumped into the people who would lead me to my destiny." His voice had softened slightly, as past memories flooded back.
"Oh, Dru?" said Buffy.
"And Angelus, and his bitch of a sire, Darla. Yes, they were out hunting - and Dru decided I was an ideal playmate for her to have. The rest, as they say, is history."
"Literally, in your case," Buffy teasingly replied.
"So, the answer is I loved them both and still do in lots of ways, even though neither of them has really returned the affection."
"Not even Dru?"
"No, she loves her Daddy. In all honesty she has always been candid. She likes me, knows that I love her and loves that fact. But as to anything more...? Her heart belongs to Angelus, and as I said at the start, that love will never die."
They sat quietly looking at anything but each other and let the realisation of how absurd this evening had become wash over them. Strangely they both felt at peace with what had happened. Peace, which neither of them had experienced in the last few weeks.
"Slayer." Spike softly broke through the tranquillity. "Dawn is fast approaching. I have to be goin'. Do you want me to walk some of the way back with you?"
"Umm. Thanks, I ought to get back before morning, so that I’m asleep when Mom's alarm goes off." On an evening of weirdness, it seemed pretty normal to walk home with her enemy.
They both slowly stood and headed across the cemetery towards the roads. The fact that Spike seemed to know which way they were going didn't surprise his companion, and nor did the fact that she had accepted the offer of company shock either of them.
At the end of the road they both paused, uncertain what the next stage should be.
Had they questioned each other, they would have found that both of them felt comfortable in the other’s company. It was a situation that should have felt wrong, but the last few weeks had culminated in this evening’s sincerity. For both of them, honesty had been hard to discover.
Buffy turned towards Spike - as he started speaking. “OK, Slayer, this is where we part. You’re not going to stake me in the back, are you?”
As ever, Spike couldn’t accept that people would be willing to be friendly towards him. After a century of humiliation, the attitude had become second nature.
“No, Spike.” Buffy reassured him. “Tonight you gave me two things that even Angel refused to grant. They are truth and part of your history. It means a lot, thank you.”
She turned and headed down Revello Drive, before Spike could think of a suitable answer, proving that she trusted him not to attack her.
Spike watched her until she had climbed the tree into her bedroom window, before turning and heading back to the mansion.
Chapter 3 – Looking Inwards
The following day brought about no change in the calm that they were both feeling.
Spike had never felt acceptance from anyone since he had lost his mum. Last night, Buffy had listened to what he said and believed his thoughts about love. Dru loved her sire, and yet would never acknowledge that her childe loved her. To her, Spike was there to worship and adore her ... until Angelus returned.
Sadly, Dru had been broken before she was sired, and so a normal conversation was rare. Spike, as a Master Vampire had never been able to have friends from among his minions. So, talking to Buffy had been a real revelation to him, and a balm to his emotions.
Buffy, on the other hand, had always had lots of friends around her. While she had lived in LA she had been a cheerleader, with all the popularity that had afforded.
Since moving to Sunnydale, she had made friends with Willow and Xander. However neither of them had accepted her association with Angel. He had been her first love, and she had placed him on a pedestal.
As Buffy thought about her relationship with Angel, she realised that they had fallen in love very suddenly. He had appeared so mysterious, and then finding out that he was a vampire, had made it very exciting. However, when she thought back to her brief chat with Spike, she realised that she had been correct in her farewells, in that Spike had been more honest in that hour, than Angel had been in the year that they had been dating.
# # #
Sunnydale after dark was not as quiet as you would have expected it to be. There were easy pickings for the vampires, and thus more work for the Slayer.
Talking to Giles and then with Spike had revitalised Buffy’s resolve. She headed out on patrol, knowing that she had not been wrong to love Angel, and that maybe there would be someone else in her life. Until that time, she could fulfil her calling, and keep the citizens of her town safe from the dangers that surround them.
Spike waited until the other vampires had left home, before heading out to find some food. Now that he had regained the use of his legs, he was looking forward to getting back to the thrill of the chase. Not far from the house he heard a heart-beat. He turned towards his prospective victim, slinking round the edge of a shop, went into game-face, grabbed the girl and spun her round ... only to see long blonde hair emerge from under her hood. The girl looked a little like Buffy, she may even have been at school with her, and Spike knew that he couldn’t feed on one of her friends.
“Let this be a warnin’ to you.” He snarled. “Don’t go out by yourself as you don’t know who you’ll meet.”
He pushed her away and spun on his heels.
Spike realised that he was doomed. An easy kill and all he could think of was Buffy. He was worried about upsetting his enemy. Since when did that sort of notion cross his mind?
Knowing that he still had to eat - and that he needed time to think through the latest twist that his life was taking, he headed towards the hospital. Once there, he snatched a couple of pints of blood from a fridge near the operating theatres, and then walked down to the basement, where it was quiet, so he could process his thoughts.
As he settled down against a pile of laundry he glared at the bag of blood in his hand. Then, chuckling, he used his fangs to pierce the first bag and quickly drank it down. The irony of being annoyed that the blood was cold, but that he had made that choice of his own free will, was only one of the things that Spike mentally catalogued.
The list grew steadily, but the central core didn’t vary.
Buffy, the Slayer.
However much Spike wanted to celebrate his return to health, he knew that his life had taken a dramatic change in the last day. He was fit and healthy again but, more importantly, he had been able to have a conversation with someone. She may be his enemy, but she was also someone that he admired.
When they had fought, she had a quick wit and a resourceful nature.
She loved her family and her friends, and remained loyal to both.
Spike understood both these character traits, because he had them himself.
Suddenly, he felt that after all these years of searching that - he had found someone who could truly become his other half ... even if she was his enemy.
So, with a final ironic grin, he drank the second pint of blood and rose to his feet. All he needed to do now was to see if Buffy would be willing to face a similar epiphany.
# # #
Sunnydale cemeteries were places of peace, but also of battle.
Buffy slowly made her way through the largest one, focussing on any approaching vampires. She knew that however many she managed to slay, more would be sired every evening. In the past this had seemed like a never-ending challenge, now her thoughts were on the rest of the population. Of sparing them from discovering what had really happened to their loved ones.
Both Giles and Spike had given her much to think about, mainly in forgiveness and of looking to the future. She had felt so empty recently, that she had allowed herself to listen to what they were saying. Now as she allowed the words to resurface, she understood that both of them spoken with more knowledge than she even hoped, or wanted, to gain.
Buffy had seen her Watcher at his worst, when she had to defeat Eyghon. She acknowledged that he had not been the perfect role model that she had presumed him to be. However, he had come through that time, and emerged the other side with an understanding of how easily life can go astray.
Spike, on the other hand, was her enemy. She had enjoyed fighting him and found him to be one of her best opponents. He was loyal to his family, and willing to risk all for the vampire he loved. Yet, he had taken time to speak to her when she was at her lowest, and to reassure her that things would get better. Buffy began to realise that he was someone she would like to have on her side.
She started to walk towards the gates and on to the next stage of her patrol, when she became aware of an approaching threat.
Chapter 4 – Looking Towards the Future
Buffy turned slightly so that she could face her rival and sum up the difficulties in the open space where she was standing.
Walking slowly towards her, with his hands open and in front of him, in a universal sign of peace, was the very vampire that she had been thinking about.
The vampire had tracked The Slayer across the cemetery, as he wanted to try to speak to her and assure her that whatever else happened in the future, her life was no longer under threat from him.
He stopped a few steps away and waited to see what she would do.
Buffy knew that that the fact that Spike had approached her in an open space indicated, for now at least, he was not intending to attack.
“Hi!” Buffy decided that she ought to be the one to take the next step.
“Hi. How are you doin’?”
“OK. Thanks, Spike. I – umm – thanks for what you said to me yesterday.”
“Buffy, I want to assure you that I meant what I said. Angelus is mad to not want to be around, but one day you will meet someone who will love you like you deserve.” Spike the paused, as he seemed to debate with himself about something.
“What I actually came to tell you,” he continued, “is that you don’t have to worry about me trying to kill you anymore.”
As Spike finished this statement, he nodded at her, and turned to walk away.
“What! Hang on!” Buffy took a couple of rapid steps and grabbed hold of his arm. “You can’t just say that and walk away. Come on, what’s the what?”
“Just what I said. I won’t try to kill you.” He purposely kept the rest of his plans from her, as he took another step.
Buffy, however kept pace.
“No you don’t, buster. Why change? Aren’t you the slayer of Slayers? Aren’t I meant to be your number three?”
Spike realised that she wasn’t going to let him go until she had, at least part of, her answer. So he paused, before turning back to face her again. “Number four,” he mumbled.
“No what I mean to say is,” he continued clearly. “I admire your spirit and don’t wanna see that go. So I won’t be offing you now.”
Buffy just stood there, speechless. Most other people she knew were upset when she showed that same spirit. They said she was volatile, stubborn or stupid. Here again, Spike had surprised her.
“If you can say that, then I had better be honest as well,” she eventually replied. “I have been thinking about you today, and know that you have been one of the few people who are honest, both in their personal feelings and how they deal with me. It means a lot. So I’m glad that I won’t have to defend myself against you.”
“Right, well, I’ll be off.” Spike again tried to move away from her, only to have the grip on his sleeve tighten.
“OK, Spike. So, the only other thing I need to know is when are you leaving my town?” At this Spike stared at her. “Come on, I can’t let you snack on my friends, can I?”
He now acknowledged that he would have admit to how much she had changed his life, in these last twenty-four hours. He rested his hand on hers, where it still lay on his arm. When she didn’t flinch away, he answered her question.
“It’s OK, pet. I have found where I can get blood from, without anyone dying. So, I was plannin’ on hangin’ around to see what Angelus and Dru are plotting.”
Buffy didn’t know what to answer, and her silence worried her companion.
“Buffy. You OK?”
As the silence stretched out Spike, unknowingly, begin stroking his thumb over the back of her hand. Neither had noticed that they were still in contact with each other.
“Yes, I think so,” she eventually replied, “But, why?”
“Again, with the questions.”
“My teachers tell me it’s the only way to learn, and I’m all with the learning.” She replied cheekily.
“OK, Buffy. The thing is, I have always been an outsider, makin’ my own rules. When we chatted last night I realised that you are great, and it made me think about what I had let my life drift into. I’m never goin’ to be good, but I can stop the pointless killing. You don’t wanna hear what I have done in the past, but I can say that I will try to be someone that maybe one day you could be friends with.”
Buffy was shocked by his admission, but as she listened, she had also become aware that her fingers had slowly entangled with his.
She raised her hand, to show him the truth of their companionship.
“I think that we are already making with the friend thingy. And I have to tell you that I’m not wigging at all.”
Spike looked down at their entwined hands and softly smiled. Never, in all the time that he had been on the earth had anyone wanted to just share something this peaceful with him. The final pieces of his heart were mending, unknown to Buffy
Without conscious thought they slowly turned and continued towards the gateway, and back to the street. Their feet took them gradually towards Revello drive, just as they had the previous evening, and again the peace that the two of them were sharing was continuing to heal their wounds.
At the top of the road they slowed, and turned to face each other.
“You know, over the last few days I’ve been thinking that I ought to tell my mom about my calling – “
“What she doesn’t yet know?” Spike interrupted.
“No. So, now I was wondering if ...”
It was fortunate that the vampire had enhanced hearing otherwise he would have missed the babbled request completely.
“Of course, I will. She needs to know that there are monsters out there.”
Whether either of them could truly comprehend how much their lives had already changed, and how different the future now looked, was doubtful. However, as friends, they had the knowledge that there would be someone there to talk to, someone to argue with, and even someone to laugh with.
Neither could anticipate just how far their relationship would develop from the small step of friendship that they had taken tonight.
“I Only Have Eyes For You”
©Harry Warren and Al Dubin.
My love must be a kind of blind love
I can't see anyone but you.
Are the stars out tonight?
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
I Only Have Eyes For You, Dear.
The moon maybe high
but I can't see a thing in the sky,
'Cause I Only Have Eyes For You.
I don't know if we're in a garden,
or on a crowded avenue.
You are here
So am I
Maybe millions of people go by,
but they all disappear from view.
And I Only Have Eyes For You.