Eternal Refuge
Because Everyone Needs Dreams.
Mini Update ... And Then A Chance To Make You Groan! 
7th-Oct-2008 04:46 pm
James - eyes

Nothing much happening here - only had one patient booked in this afternoon and she failed to turn up!

I am scanning some stuff for orchestra, while perusing LJ ... and Squeee, I now have a new picture on my side-bar!  So that is great news!!

Oh well, I had better get back to cleaning my spare room, which had been my project for today.  Easy, you may think, but not really, as I am a hoarder, and it is full of junk.

Before I go, I thought I would share this list with you all - I had seen a couple before, but still worth re-posting!!

Fancy A Groan -

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'
I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'


I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'
I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'
My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel. (10:10)
I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.' (10:10)
I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.
I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.
I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.
The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'
I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'
I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'
I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'
I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said 'I careered off the road'
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'
I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'
A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.'

 Hope you are all having a fun Tuesday.
7th-Oct-2008 04:05 pm (UTC)
LOL. Glad the horse is doing okay today :)
7th-Oct-2008 05:14 pm (UTC)

Yes, hopefully he will behave himself as well - so I can get positive news tomorrow ... Don't hold out much hope though, as he is male!!
7th-Oct-2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
My Tuesday was too long (I've only just got home having started work at 7.45am!!

Glad DJ is slowly recovering.

7th-Oct-2008 06:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks - sorry to hear you had a long day - hot bath, chocolate and wine sounds like the answer!

Yes, DJ is getting better - the rick is to persuade him to behave himself!!
7th-Oct-2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
Funny ones :)
Normal day at work for me. Lucky one that you can surf the Internet. And yet it would be better if you didn't have time because of having to work, huh? *HUGS*
7th-Oct-2008 06:36 pm (UTC)
Yes, it is hard to not earn money - but working from home means I can "play" on the internet (and pc) ... and get on with housework etc ... so a real advantage.
(Deleted comment)
8th-Oct-2008 06:43 am (UTC)
Oh, I just can't throw anything away.

Glad you enjoyed the groans!
8th-Oct-2008 03:41 am (UTC)
Those are funny. I like your icon. I haven't seen it before.
8th-Oct-2008 06:42 am (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed.

The icon is (of course) one of James - taken from Torchwood ... I used it today as I also have a larger version on my side-bar ... although they are made by different people. James has such expressive eyes.
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