November 20th, 2021

WW1 Grave

Spuffy Day Today!

Yes, it's my day to post over at seasonal_spuffy so you will end up getting a  few posts from me this afternoon.

This morning I had another session of grave cleaning.  There were 4 of us and we managed to clean quite a few graves ... so the shoulder aches are for a good reason.

So more posts to come, and hopefully even a set of photos, but will just -

20. Do you prefer your nails long or short?
Long ... although I do have to keep them short for work, and always have had to, so usually a couple of weeks before a holiday I let them begin to grow!

21. What are your favorite smells?
freshly cut grass
Real roses
Coffee (although I don't actually like the flavour)

Spuffy Icons & Banners

Hi everyone .... hope you enjoy this small set of omages

1. 12(3)  2. 13(3)

3. 11(3)  4. 10(5)  5. 9(8)

6. 8(5)  7. 7(4)  8. 6

9. 5(5)  10. 4(7)

11. 3(8)  12. 2(8)  13. 1(12)



As ever, all are snaggable and the credits are available over at my icon journal, d4s_icons ... as are other Spuffy icons if you have only recently joined.

Thanks, as ever to the mods for setting this all up.

Spuffy Fan-Fic

I had this idea for a fic, but am not 100% happy with how it flows.  For all my school years my English teachers always said things didn't make sense when I tried writing, but I have persevered since joining fandom ... so hopefully it makes enough sense for you to be able to enjoy

938 words
No wranings, not even PG rated.

Written from Buffy's POV, in the days after "Chosen" ... and going AU from there.


Burning Love

“No, you don’t, but thanks for saying it”

Why did he say that?

Despite the flames, the pain, and the scars I now have on my hand, all I can think of are his words.  “No, you don’t”

But there again I have always been the queen of mixed signals.  I had grabbed him, then run away.  I had accepted his comfort, yet gone off by myself.  He never knew how I would greet him, or even if I would greet him.  So how was he to expect an honest statement from me?

But I did love him, I do love him.

The space in my life now is huge, bigger than when I first let Heaven.  How could I not realise that he was my Heaven, my comfort, my everything.  All I have now are the memories, and the millions if wishes and regrets …

And the scars

My heart is scarred, but no one can see those or even want to know that they are there.

My hand is scarred, and all everyone wants me to do is get Willow to get rid of the scars.  But even though we have got past arguments behind us, I am not letting her remove them.  They are the last link with him, the last visible memory of my love, my vampire, my William.

Hours, or was it days, or even weeks.  The pain in my heart seemed to increase.  Those around me are getting their lives back on track.  I think Giles is steering clear of me at present - He wanted me to tell him what I was planning to do with my future to do, the day after the battle.  I answered him by just turning my back on him, otherwise what I would have said would have permanently finished our relationship.

 Dawn brings me food, but mostly just looks at me with questions, and worry, in her eyes.  I know that at some point I need to speak to her, and the others.  However, she did side with the others in throwing me out of my own house.  At least HE was there, HE saved me … again.

How can I move on with my life with my anchor missing?  What am I meant to do now?  How can everyone just expect me to move on, to forget him?

My hand itches.

My heart is sore.

Oh well, maybe tomorrow will bring things a bit more into focus.  Maybe I shall feel a bit more balanced, but somehow, I doubt it.


Another day.

Another day to drift through.

Another day to not know how to spend the time.

But …

…. Well, that’s different, anyway.

As I look at my hand it looks as if it’s alight again.  The pain is not there, but the image is.  It had taken Willow some time to focus on my hand to be able to see the flames, and she just says that it’s odd, but is not concerned … or if she is worried, she isn’t saying anything.

As I sit and watch the flames, the image of his hand in mine seems to come even clearer.


Clasped hands


Clasped hands

"Buffy!"  At long last my mind broke away from that image.  Willow was literally shouting at me.  As I looked at her, she just added "I have been trying to get your attention for a few minutes, are you OK?"

“Oh, ummm, yes.”  I stammered an answer and tried to re-focus on the room in general rather than the image of burning hands.  “What did you want?”

“That phone call was from Fred, you know she works with Angel.”

“So, what does Angel want?”

“Actually, what he wants is for you not to know.  However, Fred thinks that you need to know the truth.”  Willow explained.

“So, what decision has Angel made on my behalf?”  I had cleared the air with Willow over quite a few things, recently, including how I was fed up with the older vampire.  Having spent time with Spike, I realised how the two vampires were so totally different.  They both did things for my good, yet Angel’s idea of that was to tell me what to do, whereas Spike was just willing to be there and help however he was needed.

“Apparently yesterday’s post brought a surprise parcel to the offices.  When they opened it, out came a ghost,” Willow began to explain.  “It is Spike.”


“Yes, he is a ghost.  But his first question was asking about you, so Fred thought you needed to know.”  Willow finished the explanation.

Collapsing back in my seat I stared at the flames around my hand.

Willow let me absorb facts, but was stunned when I abruptly stood up and announced that they were going to LA.


I travelled with Dawn and Willow and made good time in getting to Angel’s offices, although nowhere near fast enough for me.  We arrived and walked into his personal office without waiting to be announced.  As luck would have it, Spike had just popped back into the room.  I ignored Angel and walked straight up to Spike with my burning hand extended, and to everyone’s shock grabbed the ghostly hand that stretched out towards me.  Rather than nothing happening, the hands re-connected, the flames burnt bright, and with a loud pop Spike became fully solid again.

And so we just extended our touch into a full comforting hug, and a few moments later, without a word to the others in the room, walked out into their future arm in arm.