February 4th, 2012

Buffy - with sword

Men v Women

WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word..
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife a nd asked, 'What?'

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.. '
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the new Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
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    amused amused
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Adventure before dementia

I Feel Cross-Eyed

Today mum handed me one of her jumpers - she had decided to unpick the neck and re-knit it (the shape felt wrong) ... However with her poor eye-sight it meant that she had got it in a total muddle.

So. you can guess my job - further un-picking and picking up, and some knitting.

She is now trying to decided what she wants the neck to look like ... so it looks as if next weekend will be fully booked as well.