October 21st, 2010

LOL - James

There's A Moral To Every Story!

Bad Day

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a really big, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with the gardener, and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you, show up and drink the whole thing!

But enough about me, how's your day going?"

~~~~~~~

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died apeaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive..

~~~~~

PRICELESS

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Squeee!

I Am Having A Great Day - I Know The Nicest People On This Planet


Yes, jaded_jamie  is one of the nicest people I know - he was squeeeeeeeeing about a new computer programme that he now has ... and look what arrived by "return-of-comment".


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I now have the hard task of deciding which to put on my profile - although it will prbably be the middle one of the 2, what do you think?

Suishes you hard, Jamie - you are the bestest, thank you for being such a great friend.
Adventure before dementia

Film Meme - Day 29

Day 01 - Sequel that should not have been made ... The Trail of the Pink Panther
Day 02 - Movie that you think more people should see ... Still to decide - LOL
Day 03 - Favorite Oscar-nominated movie from most recent ballot ... Pride and Prejudice
Day 04 - Movie that makes you laugh every time ... Pride and Prejudice
Day 04 - Movie that makes you laugh every time ... Carry On, Up The Khyber
Day 05 - Movie you loathe ... Meet The Spartans
Day 06 - Movie that makes you cry every time ... Gone With The Wind
Day 07 - Least favorite movie by a favorite actor or actress ... P.S. I Love You
Day 08 - Movie that should be required high school viewing ... Gallipoli ...&... All Quiet On The Western Front
Day 09 - Best scene ever ... Pellet with the Poison, from The Court Jester
Day 10 - A movie you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving ... Lethal Weapon
Day 11 - A movie that disappointed you ... Twilight
Day 12 - Best soundtrack/background music in a scene ... Snow White ... & ... Prince of Egypt
Day 14 - Favorite film in black and white ... Some Like It Hot
Day 15 - Best musical - Guys & Dolls
Day 16 - Your guilty pleasure movie ... Still to decide - LOL
Day 17 - Favorite series of related movies - Star Wars
Day 18 - Favorite title sequence ... Operation Peticoat
Day 19 - Best movie cast ... Around the World in 80 Days
Day 20 - Favorite kiss ... To Catch a Thief
Day 21 - Favorite romantic couple ... Groucho & Margaret ... and ... Fred & Ginger
Day 22 - Favorite final scene/line ... Some like It Hot
Day 23 - Best explosion or action scene ... Lethal Weapon 3
Day 24 - Quote you use most often ... "Wind & Rain ... from The Longest Day
Day 25 - A movie you plan on watching (old or new) ... Mamma Mia
Day 26 - Freakishly weird movie ending ... Still to decide - LOL
Day 27 - Best villain ... Arsenic and Old Lace
Day 28 - Most overhyped movie ... E.T.

Day 29 - Movie you have watched more than ten times

Most of the films listed above that I say I like are ones that I've seen more than 10 times ... I can watch something twice in a day if I'm enjoying it ... weird, I know!

So, it was hard to pick just one film and in the end I chose a Danny Kaye film, Wonder Man , for the simple reason that when I was in New York in 1989 we travelled to Brooklyn ... and stood on a bridge in Prospect Park, very similar to the one in the film (at about 3 mins!)  It's a fun film, where he palys twins, one is a nerd,a nd one an entertainer.

 




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