July 31st, 2007

Adventure before dementia

Buy A Dog!!

This was sent to me by my 95 year old cousin!

I am posting it - but must say that I apologise in advance to deborahw37 (and Numfar); and to kazzy_cee (and her 2) ... and any other cat owners out there!


If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mother made it ..
Buy a Dog!

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want . ..
Buy a Dog!

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies ...
Buy a Dog!

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores ....
Buy a Dog!

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually ...

Buy a Dog!

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness.............

Buy a Cat!!!

Now be honest, you thought I was going to say....then marry a man.!!
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Adventure before dementia

A Head-Tilt That Spike Would Have Been Proud Of ...

Yes, that's how DJ stood as I walked across the field towards him.  I guessed he was up to something - but wasn't till I got there I realised what it was!!

No head-collar!

Not all horses (in England) are left in head-collars for safety reasons - but DJ lives in fields that are overlooked both by Toni's house as well as neighbours - so all of her horses wear head-collars ... well not this morning.  

So he stood watching me walk towards him, with just a rope in my hands ...

Sadly, fo him, he had forgotten that I had been well trained by Toni - and had worked in stables ... so I can make a temporary head-collar ... and thus led him out of his field.  I could almost hear Smudge sniggering behind us!!

So - he went into his box - and I went back to the field to find it!  The furthest corner was where I started - yes, good choice!  As that is where it was - with one of the clips snapped in two!  So I got back and got some string to repair it - so that he had something to wear again.

I win!!!  DJ lost!!!!

Toni brought Smudge in and we just went round the easiest block, as Toni has a really bad cold.  Still it was great to be out - in the sunshine, even though that also meant the flies were also out and about.

Once home - a feed, a carrot (does he deserve it!) and then back out to his field - wearing his repaired head-collar - What story he will tell the others is anyones guess!
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Adventure before dementia

The Rules - According To Men!!

I have just read this on coffeecat77 journal - so thought I would share with you all!


Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely any thing you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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