DIARY OF A BLONDE

JAN - Took new scarf back to store as it was too tight.
FEB - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels .... Helllllllooooo!!!  Bottles don't fit in the printer!
MAR - Got really excited - finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.  The box said 2-4 years.
APR - Trapped on escalator for hours, the power went out.
MAY - Tried to make Kool-Aid.  Wrong instructions, 8 cups of water won't fit into those tiny packets.
JUN - Tried to waterski - couldn't find a lake with a slope.
JUL - Lost breast stroke swimming contes - learnt later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
AUG - Got locked out of my car in a rain storm ... car was swamped because the soft-top was open.
SEP - The capital of California is "C", isn't it?
OCT - Hate Smarties ... they are so hard to peel!
NOV - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108.
DEC - Couldn't call 911 - duh - there's no eleven button on the stupid phone!!

Whew what a year - Hope next year is better.