Deborah (debris4spike) wrote,

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31 One-Liners To Make You Smile.

I snagged this from    shmoopiness  ... She had received it in an e-mail.

1 - My husband and I divorced over Religious reasons .... He thought he was God, I didn't.
2 - I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3 - Some people are alive, only because it is a sin to kill them.
4 - I used to have a habdle on life, but it broke.
5 - Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive.
6 - You're just jealous that the voices only talk to me.
7 - Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8 - Earth is the insane assylum for the universe.
9 - I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.
10 - Out of my mind - back in 5 minutes.
11 - Housework is bad for your health.
12 - NyQuil - stuffy-sneezy why-the-heck-is-the-world-spinning medicine
13 - The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14 - Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
15 - Being over the hill is much better than being under it.
16 - Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
17 - procrastinate now!
18 - A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
19 - A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
20 - I have a degree in liberal arts - Do you want fries with that?
21 - Stupidity is not a handicap - Park elsewhere.
22 - They call it PMS 'cos Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
23 - He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
24 - A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses three times the memory.
25 - Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
26 - When life gives you lemons, make lemonade with lots of sugar.
27 - Apreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends.
28 - I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
29 - Life is too short - and friends are too few.
30 - The trouble with life is there's no background music.
31 - Consciousness - That annoying time between naps.

So hope those who are still squeeing over James have time for a giggle - for the rest of my friends ... have a laugh!

Tags: fun

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