Having started back at work this week after my holiday to Italy (yes pictures are partly up, and some more to come later) I knew the week would feel weird, especially as I had my annual update training day on Wednesday. Working for the NHS in a large hospital there are certain things we need to re-learn every year, eg fire safety, hand hygiene, and basic life support ... so that was my Wednesady organised.
However, before I got there, late Tuesday afternoon I had a phone call from my doctor saying my blood test from the previous Friday (to check my thyroxine, etc) was showing an ovarian marker ... I needed scans. So, Thursday morning I phoned, and was seen an hour later ... but was told I was all clear.
The weird thing is, for that 36 hours I didn't think who I could talk to (other than God), but my main concern overall was not how much I might miss of the future, but of how Jiffy would cope. However all is OK, totally clear.
Today I had a stress management day at work, as well. And one thing that they were talking about was learning to be thankful. I have done these sorts of posts in the past, but thought I would try to do it again for a few weeks ... and hopefully that will also make me post.
The stress course was good in that it showed me how I had managed to develope depression even though I had (and have) no regrets with looking after Mum & Dad. One thing I did get reminded was that all the bullying I had a teenager has left scars ... and medically scars do fade, but never disappear. So I realise that I must accept that the hurt of years ago will always shape my life.
Sorry for scribbling, but as I realised today (and this week) I have let a lot continue to drift, and no longer have Mum & Dad to ground me, so scribbling here is a way of letter go of some of the tension of the week.