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Eternal Refuge
Because Everyone Needs Dreams.
I'm Back ... I Hope! 
30th-Apr-2016 03:29 pm
To say the house is still chaotic is being polite, but at least I have "dug" my way through my study to find my computer again. I will admit I haven't looked at LJ since I last wrote something, so if there is any big news please let me know.

I thought I would re-start my lj-ing with this amazing link -

As someone who can not dance at all, it does mean that maybe I still have time to learn!!!

So either skip the scribbles, or make yourself a pot of tea, and open up the biscuits ...

  • Dad had  another small stroke 10 days ago.  He was seen by the doctors and paramedics from the hospital, and I was there for all of that.  I suggested that the support and care he received at the home meant it was the best place for him.  If he had gone into hospital, it would disorientate him, and he would be a new face in a busy location ... and there was nothing specific that could be done.  They have carried out their support of him ... seeing physios, OTs, speach & language, mental health .... etc.  He can no longer stand by himself, but they have a "machine" to help him.  He has had a couple of small melt-downs, telling me he wants to die, but basically he is doing OK.

  • Jiffy is OK, he had his annual check-up, and the only problem was that he had put on a kilo ... but as he is getting on to nearly 10 that's OK.

  • My lounge and my bedroom now looks like proper rooms again.  But, only half my study is cleared so far.  However no one could stay in my spare room at present!

  • I have sorted a bit of the garden out ... it's all patio, but I got some new wood chips surround now, so that looks more cheerful.  All but one of the plants look very green already, but I lost one, so have bought something to replace it.

  • Healthwise I am feeling better, at long last.  That virus certainly flattened me.  It doesn't help because in the midst of all that my thyroid decided to slow down.  They are having a bit of a problem getting the dose right.

  • I am back at work 9-5 again.  I do 3 1/2 days a week, which is not great fro the bank balance, but at least I am enjoying the job, and if needed I can always do extra hours once I am more organised.

  • I have a missing front tooth still (I had damaged before I dissappeared).  The nerve has gone, and the root prepared, but I then got an infection so am on penicillin to sort that out, before the put the root post and tooth in/on.

  • I have a very sore hand today - I had a steroid injection yesterday for Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.  I had the other one done 4 months ago, and no pain ... this one, OUCH!!

  • I bought the new Star Wars film on DVD and so have got to see it (complete with the big shock).  It was good to catch up, and then my eldest nephew and I had a text-chat about it, and the other films.

  • Sadly Nick has fallen out with me, big time.  (Thus this is f-locked)  He is upset that Mum left me her jewellery, but didn't leave him and Tim anything.  He therefore expected me to sell everything, and split things 3 ways.  Sadly I hadn't thought anything about it, as I don't count jewellery as monetry value.  Nick does have major health problems  .... both physical and mental.  He always used to blame Mum for all sorts of prblems, so it seems as if now she has died I have gained that.  He has said that he doesn't want any contact at all ... and I will admit that was more than painful.  Tim heard the argument, as it was via e-mail, but he just announced he didn't want to beinvolved.  So I suppose it is a good thing that I was bullied for so long as a teen ... I am used to being alone.

Well I think that's me roughly up to date ... seems boring considering how busy I seem to have felt!  I will try to keep up now.  I still have over 150 comments to answer, but I shall try to catch up with those, even though they are totally out of date now, but I don't want to just ignore people who made the effort to speak to me.

Group hugs !!
30th-Apr-2016 03:33 pm (UTC)
That video is amazing.
1st-May-2016 01:52 pm (UTC)
I was stunned when I saw that video - great stuff!
30th-Apr-2016 03:42 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad and beyond furious with Nick! How could he expect you to sell your mother's jewellery?

And after all the care and love and support you gave too.. grrr and grrr to Tim too for not standing up for you.

Stay strong! And as ever, if there's anything I can do to help in any way please let me know
1st-May-2016 02:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Deb. You are part of the small group of people that are keeping me going. Just knowing that there are a few out there who would help if they could truly makes all the difference.

Sadly Nick is Nick!! Although I suppose over this last year Tim has learnt to be busy so he doesn't have to do things he doesn't want to do, which in some ways is worse than Nick.

Thank you
30th-Apr-2016 04:15 pm (UTC)
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
1st-May-2016 02:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you, the support means everything.
30th-Apr-2016 04:42 pm (UTC)
Glad to see you're back, but sorry about you and your family's health problems. (I include Jiffy as a family member). Sorry Nick is being difficult. How I hate family members who squabble over heirlooms. Very astute of you to realize he has mental health issues. You have class; he does not. Hang onto your Mum's jewelry. She wanted YOU to have it.

LOVED the vid of Matilda dancing! (I can't dance, either). Her outfit looked more flapper than Big Band era, with the headband and fringe, but it was lovely nonetheless. She has neat ankles - I'm envious. Love the song too: Sing, Sing, Sing. When Matilda's partner dipped her at the end, I swooned.
30th-Apr-2016 04:45 pm (UTC)
Forgot to say, re: what has happened... Prince died, and Minneapolis is all lit up. The view from my condo at night shows tall buildings with purple lights outlining them, and there are block parties all over, commemorating his life.
30th-Apr-2016 05:28 pm (UTC)
Someone posted this on FB yesterday and watched it. Pretty cool. Sorry your Dad had another stroke and hope things go well for him. My Mom had a stroke day after Christmas and she is finally a lot better but took her a long while. It's good you are feeling better. :D
1st-May-2016 01:57 pm (UTC)
I was stunned when I saw that video - great stuff!

Dad is doing OK, considering he is 91, and suffering from Alzheimer's. I am really glad your mum is doing well, hopefully she has had some good follow-up advice on long term health. *hugs*
30th-Apr-2016 06:21 pm (UTC)
Glad to hear you're back and feeling better.
1st-May-2016 02:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you - I have missed you all.
30th-Apr-2016 06:41 pm (UTC)
I don't dance nearly that well. I feel very inferior now.

Sending good thoughts to you and your Dad. As for Nick... I am so sorry. You don't deserve to be treated like that. *hugs*

1st-May-2016 01:55 pm (UTC)
I was stunned when I saw that video - great stuff!

Thanks, Dad and I are doing OK. Sadly I have to learn that Nick is Nick!
1st-May-2016 12:52 am (UTC)
*hugs* Glad to hear from you. Hope all things will go well, especially health wise. Sorry about the Nick thing but I think you're right.
1st-May-2016 02:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Nick is Nick, and there is nothing I can do about that!
1st-May-2016 02:08 am (UTC)
*hugs* I'm so sorry. My mom has a lot of problems with her siblings being awful to her and/or ignoring her, and I've seen the pain she's gone through. I hope he gets his head sorted out soon!
1st-May-2016 02:04 pm (UTC)
Thanks - yes I know your family have had similar family problems. Nick has always had a lot of anger and health issues, but won't admit it, and thus wont get the help he needs.
1st-May-2016 07:39 am (UTC)
Sadly Nick has fallen out with me, big time. He is upset that Mum left me her jewellery, but didn't leave him and Tim anything. He therefore expected me to sell everything, and split things 3 ways. He has said that he doesn't want any contact at all ...

Another friend had similar reactions from a brother about a legacy. If I'd deliberately left something to a particular person, I would be annoyed (if I knew anything about it) that they'd gone against my wishes and shared it with someone I had pointedly not left anything to. I imagine she wanted the items to stay in the family, in one piece, which wouldn't happen if you sold them. Unless she promised him something, Nick is clearly being unreasonable. Painful, though.
1st-May-2016 02:07 pm (UTC)
I was stunned to read Nick's words. To me her jewellery is part of her. I don't care about the monetary value, just her personal items. They certainly aren't going to be sold, but looks as if I will have to pay to get them valued then write him a chq for a third (and I suppose Tim, as well, to be fair).

Yes, it is painful ... but also to see him struggling with major health problems and not really getting help.
1st-May-2016 02:26 pm (UTC)
*hugs back* for you and your Dad. I'm sorry to hear that he has had another stroke, but am glad that they listened to you and let him stay in his home rather than have to go into hospital.

Also sorry to read about Nick and his attitude towards your Mum leaving you her jewellery - like you I see this as something she wanted you to have and not as part of her 'estate'. Despite rationally knowing that he seems to have moved the problems he had with your Mum onto you, emotionally and personally it hurts to have your brother treat you this way. And Tim's just hiding his head in the sand - he needs to realise that you need support, you shouldn't have to be alone.

Just remember I'm here for you if you need me.
2nd-May-2016 01:36 pm (UTC)
The support dad continues to get at the Home is great ... and they are also good at keeping in contact with me about everything.

Yes, it is painful to have this from Nick, but that is who he has always been. In some ways I fond it harder to cope with Tim's (lack of) response. However like I said when Mum was alive, they are the ones who have to deal with their decisions.

*hugs* ... thank you, knowing one or two people are there if I need them makes all the difference ... *hugs* again
1st-May-2016 11:31 pm (UTC)
Welcome back! Wow, a lot has happened, and not all of it good... I hope Nick will come to his senses and see that he's being unreasonable.
2nd-May-2016 01:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks - yes, a hectic few days!! Nick has always been someone who, once he has made a decision, doesn't change ... very sad (and annoying!)
2nd-May-2016 03:09 pm (UTC)
Sad to hear you are having a rough go of things lately. It seems everything to do with your parents has fallen to you, which I know is very difficult. I applaud your strength and tenacity! I was also bullied a lot in school and what does not break us only makes us stronger, right?

Keep your chin up and know that there are people who care about you.
3rd-May-2016 10:48 am (UTC)
Thank you - yes, the family problems just seem to keep coming ... but as I said last year, if I don't do things, and cope, I will always regret it.

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