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Eternal Refuge
Because Everyone Needs Dreams.
Trying to Make Use Of My Week Off 
28th-Dec-2015 05:17 pm
Spuffy - Christmas
Well after a lovely time spent with Dad it was back to earth the following day!!  He was tired, so very tearful.  I had taken Jiffy along, so I suggested the 3 of us went for a walk downstaires.  That really helped as Dad loved watching Jiffy have a chat to another dog!

Yeasterday, Tim had a similar visit, and then he and Claire came o lunch at my place.  We then went for a long walk ... amazing to think I live in a city, about 2 miles from the centre, yet those first  3 images were taken about 5 mins walk from my house.

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On the side of the Council owned sports centre -
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We walked on through that park, crossed a road and kept walking to the Countess Wear Paper Mill. It is one of the few remaining buildings which formed part of a mill complex, extending over two hectares, and was operational between 1638 and 1885, although there were probably earlier medieval mills on the site as well.

The site, at various times, operated as both a corn and a paper mill with high-quality paper being produced from rags imported from Europe.

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Today I went to see Dad again, and yet again he was sad. I managed to get him to say what a lot of the problem is ... How much he has lost ... Mum, his memory, his health, his ability to do whatever he wants .... So hard to help because I agree with him.

Still we had a chat and a laugh ... which was the main thing.  When I got back I spent an hour or two trying to sort out my bedroom.  So much had been just dumped it was hard to know what was there.

Hope you are all enjoying things.  I now have ironing to do!!
28th-Dec-2015 06:45 pm (UTC)
You and your brother do look very alike.

How much he has lost ... Mum, his memory, his health, his ability to do whatever he wants .... So hard to help because I agree with him.

I know what you mean - mu mum has a similar sense of loss - at least hers is mainly a loss of independence and of the feeling that she could at least do some useful things. And, like you, all we can do is sympathise and then point out what she does still have and can still do.
30th-Dec-2015 05:12 pm (UTC)
Time and I are 6 years apart but people have often said that. In many ways we think and react alike.

Yes, I remind dad of how much he has ... although the sadness with memory loss is I know he will forget the conversation. But I keep positive and smiling.
28th-Dec-2015 10:56 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that you are getting some time to yourself and I actually think it's a positive that your Dad has an understanding of what has happened this year. It's an overwhelming series of losses and he, like you, needs to grieve and be sad but you will both get through it given time and the love that you share ((hugs))
30th-Dec-2015 05:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks - yes a few people have asked as to whether dad even knew mum had died. So it is "good" to hear him say that she is missing. 63 1/2 years of marriage is a lot of history, so I'm glad he hasn't lost everything.
31st-Dec-2015 09:32 pm (UTC)
For all it's worth I'm glad your dad still remembers your mum and you all. I just hope he won't be only sad. So it's good to read you shared some laughs too.
9th-Jan-2016 02:00 pm (UTC)
Thanks Cordy ... yes it is good for Dad to have memories of missing Mum ... hard for him to cope with, but I think in doing so he feels more "normal"
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