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Eternal Refuge
Because Everyone Needs Dreams.
1/6 Of The Year Gone 
2nd-Mar-2015 09:09 pm
Spike - Touched
.... Where did it go?

The last couple of weeks has been as hectic as ever. Mum and Dad seem as muddled as ever. As lost as ever. It's hard to see them like this. Mum is sure every day is Saturday, neither of them can remember how to use a phone (luckily their neighbours are great), they forget pills, etc

So hard to deal with, and harder to know they are my parents.

I spend 2 1/2 days at work, but only one night at my place, so I don't get much chance to even turn on my pc (I am so glad that I have my tablet) .... I have signed up for one set of icons, but whether I shall get a chance to complete them.

As well as the "normal" things I do ... I have added extra gardening for him, cleaning brass and silver, as it's Tim and Claire's Silver Wedding Anniversary at the end of the month. They invited themselves, Nick and family, for a day .... so, surprise, surprise, more for me.

Hope all is well with you all.
2nd-Mar-2015 10:26 pm (UTC)
I could cheerfully kick Tim and Claire's ankles!
3rd-Mar-2015 08:26 am (UTC)
LOL ... my friend from Church was nowhere near as polite when she heard.
2nd-Mar-2015 11:51 pm (UTC)
I know you love your family, but do either of your brothers realize you are totally overwhelmed? They need to help out a bit more. Maybe take a weekend over so you can have sometime to rest? You won't be doing yourself or your parents any good if you tire yourself out so very much.

Anyways...massive hugs. I have no room to talk since I was the same way with my mom. I just hate you are so overworked and stressed out.
3rd-Mar-2015 08:30 am (UTC)
It's hard, as you know, but has to be done. They know I am in a heap but they have "busy" lives .... can't even find time to pick up the phone most of the time .... that is one thing that really does annoy me.

How are things with you? Sending you a huge hug.
3rd-Mar-2015 01:59 pm (UTC)
Busy lives is no excuse. It's a cop out. Your life is just as busy and they need to help you. This is the same excuse my mom use to give my brother. He has a family, he has a job, which meant he is a man so it isn't his problem to be there for her. Why do you have to carry the weight while they get to slide? Your time is just as important as theirs. Nope, not letting that be an excuse. Your parent raised all of you. All of you should be involved in caring for them now.

This form of thinking and justifying is common. My family did it to me. Tommy's family does it to him. And Robert's family does the same. Robert and I pulled away from our families to ease it. Now Mary is taking over Robert's life and shoving me out the door. Robert is wrapped up in love and can't see it right now. I am afraid he will trap himself in this and be too honorable to walk away when it finally realizes it. That is what happened to me with my husband. I just took the abuse and stayed. I don't want that for Robert, but it's his choice.
3rd-Mar-2015 12:25 am (UTC)
This is really a bit much. I think you seriously need to talk to your (brother?) and make some plans that don't include you not having a life.
3rd-Mar-2015 08:35 am (UTC)
Yes, my baby brother ... he is so "busy" that he can't often pick up the phone. So although he knows he presumes me not being able to work means I have the time ... however many times I have told him to the contrary.

It is good to have good friends .... even if they are countries away!
3rd-Mar-2015 08:22 am (UTC)
You really need a home help to come in. Please say you will do that despite your parent's objections - it would help everyone. Running yourself into the ground is not helping anyone and Claire and Tim need to know that.
3rd-Mar-2015 08:44 am (UTC)
Unfortunately I have recently realized that most of the things I do can't be done by outside help ... specific cleaning, mum's meal requirements, etc. The hardest thing is her loss of memory and confusion. That is just repetitive, 24 hours a day.

Tim is one of those people who is very busy at work, so he is "resting" when home ... but it truly annoys me that he is even to busy to phone.

Still LJ friends are really a super help. So glad of that
3rd-Mar-2015 02:06 pm (UTC)
Like everyone else I think that you must insist that your brothers do more to help your parents. Even if they are legitimately busy, they still should do more to help.

Lots of hugs from afar.
17th-Mar-2015 08:27 pm (UTC)
Now I am in a routine, life is easier ... asking for help is impossible, but I now feel a lot better about things.

Thanks for the support ... it is this that is really helping me on the bad days
3rd-Mar-2015 09:21 pm (UTC)
I don't know what it's going to take for your brothers to realise how hard this is for you, but I hope something happens soon, as you can't continue to shoulder all this by yourself all the time.


17th-Mar-2015 08:30 pm (UTC)
I am managing to cope easier now I have got into a bit of a routine.

Ironically when Tim & Claire came over they both commented on how well I looked

The love and support off my friends here is really keeping me going

Edited at 2015-03-17 08:32 pm (UTC)
3rd-Mar-2015 10:31 pm (UTC)
Sounds like you really need some help with your parents. Is it possible to get a family member to help or hire a caregiver to stop by a few days a week?
17th-Mar-2015 09:27 pm (UTC)
Now I am in a routine, life is a lot easier.

Support of friends is really helping
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