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Eternal Refuge
Because Everyone Needs Dreams.
Limbo - Your Name Is Deborah!!! 
2nd-Jun-2017 06:11 pm
James - silhouette
I haven't turned on LJ in weeks.  I haven't been to music group ... although I have managed to work most of my shifts, and get to Church.

I have been stuck in LIMBO, and am really having to fight to escape.

I am on the countdown to my holiday ... yet am struggling to feel happy about it.  However I have started to sort out my clothes, so that's a step on the way.

I have also started councelling.

So, all in all I will wake up in time for my holiday.

Anyway, in those missing weeks I have missed being part of the friendship and community .... but sadly not enough to break through this terrible darkness.  Today Christine and I went out for lunch and a walk, and that has focussed me enough that I am typing this.

SORRY!

Anyway, I have done a few random things in those weeks ....

  • Went to Auntie Joyce as she asked for help to sort out her garage.  When I got there she changed her mind.  Sadly she also tried re-hashing old family tensions (from before my birth!!).  Then I got stuck in traffic on the way home ... so not the greatest of weekends at all.

  • Jiffy has turned 11, but has managed to stay pretty healthy recently.  So good news, although I suppose he is sad that he hasn't had a chance to visit his much loved vet.

  • Got my bra fitting done and am a inches measurement smaller.  So maybe the gym work is helping after all.

  • Had an opticians appointment and am sadly losing a bit more of the field of vision in my right eye.  I had the retinal op 28 years ago, so am happy to have my sight at all.

  • Dan (19) and Tom (17) have passed their driving tests ... so all the eligible boys are drivers now.

  • Auntie Mary came over for a meal.  She was Mum's best friend, and came down on a coach trip to the area so that she could see me.  It was really special to see her ...  really lovely.  One of thos times when you want to slow the minutes down.

Well it seems as if that's it.  As I said these last few weeks have just drifted past.  I am going to aim to post some of my photos from today's walk this evening.  However I warn you now, that plan my not work.

Hope you are all OK ... any news, let me know please .... and SORRY again
Comments 
2nd-Jun-2017 06:10 pm (UTC)
Well, it is good to see you. ((hugs))

Hope you feel more yourself soon, and don't feel guilty! You are going through a difficult time in more ways than one, so do what you can and pick up the rest when possible. ♥
10th-Jun-2017 03:37 pm (UTC)
*hugs* ... thank you very much *hugs* again

I have always felt guilty if I spend me-time, so this has doubled up the problem.
2nd-Jun-2017 06:52 pm (UTC)
You've had a rough couple of years so I'm glad you are seeing a counsellor as that will help. Don't worry about us - we will still be here!
10th-Jun-2017 03:40 pm (UTC)
*hugs* ... thank you very much *hugs* again

I have always felt guilty if I spend me-time, so this has doubled up the problem. I think the counsellor is beginning to work through some of my tensions.
2nd-Jun-2017 09:47 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I've been wondering about you and keep you in my prayers. So glad you're seeing a counselor.
2nd-Jun-2017 09:50 pm (UTC)
PS - no need to apologize. You've had a rough couple of years - nothing to be sorry for.
10th-Jun-2017 03:42 pm (UTC)
That's the trouble ... I don't feel that life has been hard. Just "normal"
10th-Jun-2017 03:40 pm (UTC)
*hugs* ... thank you very much *hugs* again

I have always felt guilty if I spend me-time, so this has doubled up the problem. I think the counsellor is beginning to work through some of my tensions.
2nd-Jun-2017 10:10 pm (UTC)
No need whatsoever to say sorry. I hope the councelling will do you good.
10th-Jun-2017 03:42 pm (UTC)
*hugs* ... thank you very much *hugs* again

I have always felt guilty if I spend me-time, so this has doubled up the problem. I think the counsellor is beginning to work through some of my tensions.
3rd-Jun-2017 08:26 am (UTC)
There is absolutely no need to apologise! I'm sorry you've been feeling down. Walking and the gym should both help.
10th-Jun-2017 03:43 pm (UTC)
*hugs* ... thank you very much *hugs* again

I have always felt guilty if I spend me-time, so going to the gym has been a real break-through.
4th-Jun-2017 02:26 pm (UTC)
I agree with all the above comments. Hopefully your vacation will rejuvenate you.
10th-Jun-2017 03:44 pm (UTC)
*hugs* ... thank you very much *hugs* again

I have always felt guilty if I spend me-time, so this has doubled up the problem. I think the counsellor is beginning to work through some of my tensions.

I am beginning to look forward to the break, except for worrying about Jiffy.
10th-Jun-2017 04:35 pm (UTC)
Couldn't one of your brothers take Jiffy in for the duration of your vacation?
10th-Jun-2017 04:55 pm (UTC)
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .... ha, ha

They don't even let Jiffy visit them when I go. Nick is not well enough to cope with noise (yes, he does bark); but Tim is just too busy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is going to a dog sitter, so will be well cared for, but I know he will feel a bit lost.
10th-Jun-2017 06:05 pm (UTC)
I think Jiffy will adjust.

One of my friends adopted a dog, as a favor to her youngest child (long story which I won't include here). It's a good thing that my friend wanted a dog, because her two local children usually do not have the time to take the dog when she is busy or on vacation. Fortunately, she has a dog sitter who is always willing to take the dog for a day, a weekend or longer.
4th-Jun-2017 02:26 pm (UTC)
I agree with all the above comments. Hopefully your vacation will rejuvenate you.
4th-Jun-2017 10:36 pm (UTC)
No need to be sorry me thinks. It's still good to hear from you.
10th-Jun-2017 03:44 pm (UTC)
*hugs* ... thank you very much *hugs* again
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