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Eternal Refuge
Because Everyone Needs Dreams.
My Life 
28th-Nov-2015 09:20 pm - 91 Years Young
Happy Birthday
As well as missing petzipellepingo birthday, and then deborahw37 yesterday, I am also a day late in posting this.

It must be hard to spend your birthday in hospital, but even more so when things are generally confused.  Poor Daddy.  As well as those of us in the photos, a couple of couples from Church popped in.  So by the evening he was pretty tired and stressed, but overall the rest of us have good memories.

And Jiffy came toCollapse )

In my "spare" time when not sorting out the house (of which I now have the whole lot to do) I am trying to find the right place for dad to live.  As I said in my last posting Dad actually spared me the decision, but sadly he now tends to think it will happen "now" .... but I haven't even seen one place, let alone made a decision ... and the hospital still have a lot of paperwork to do.

So my MIA continues ... hope all is well with you all.  Miss you.
24th-Nov-2015 08:41 pm - Truly An Answer To Prayer
James - looking down
Yet again I need to apologise for my lack of participation ... But as ever life is hectic.

Dad is up and down, as sadly he picked up a sickness bug.  His mobility is slightly better - he has problems standing up, but once up with a frame and help he moves quickly.  His right arm is much better and he is gradually learning to  feed himself with his right hand.  However his short term memory is pretty non-existant.  When he speaks his words are very confused, which is hard to us all.  He chats away, but it is hard to know what about.  The Rehab hospital is great, but last week we had a meeting as a first step on the future.  Tim was all for sorting out a home ... to "help" me.  The hospital were great with me at talking through the possibility of him coming home as it was what I had hoped for.  Although my head could see all the worries, my heart didn't want to feel that I was throwing him out of his house.

However this afternoon when I was seeing Dad he was very clear and talked of the future ... and wanted to go to a place where he is cared for all the time, as home is no longer home.

So, sad to see we are at thispoint, but so wonderful that he was clear in what he wanted for us both ... Thank you God for answered prayer.

I now have a house to sort out!  ... And loads of LJ to catch up on!
18th-Nov-2015 05:12 pm - BtVS Icons
Spike & Dru
After Mum died I decided I wanted to get back to making some icons, and thought I would sign up for 2 seperate comms, with the same theme!  The reason being that I had hoped to see James when he was in England, but had to cancel when the evnue moved.  As it turned out, with Dad's stroke I couldn't have got there anyway.  So I decided to join the new comm of episodes20in20 and the BtVS/AtS one ... then as Dad had his stroke I new I would struggle and just kept to the one comm ... with the theme to commemorate how many of you first saw James in action - School Hard, from season 2, BtVS

Here are 3 teasers -

 photo Last scene_zpszwywcqrn.jpg    photo Cat 4_zps8y1cx2y9.jpg    photo AC 1_zpspazwyee1.jpg

The set is hereCollapse )
10th-Nov-2015 12:00 pm - 10 Days On
Son of a preacher man.
Sorry I have been missing, but as my last post said, Dad had a massive stroke.

His speach was slurred and vague, he couldn't move his right leg, and nurses moving it caused pain, and he couldn't move his right arm, and his fingers were clenched tight.

Now, 11 days later I can post a photo I took yesterday ... He still has a long way to go, but has recovered from the pneumonia he also developed and has been moved to a rehab unit.  He walks (with a frame and 2 supporters), and can now just about get a spoon to his mouth with his right hand.  His speach s fine, although his memory is still muddles ... but add Alzheimer's, mum's death and the stroke, it's not suprising.

 photo Dad_zpsbz7pesuc.jpg

Sorry I haven't been around, but my CFS has kicked in, and with walking Jiffy and visiting twice a day, me-time is non-existant.

As I type this I am surrounded by boxes as Nick and Dan (17) came down last Saturday morning to empty the loft.  Tim had kept talking about it, but that was as far as it got ... so now I have to sort - Auction, keep, charity, recycle and dump!

So, I know I have loads of comments to reply to, but just don't have time.  I shall try and rig Mum's laptop up so as I sit in the evening for an hour I can catch up with you all.

Also - special thanks to 2 very special people ... it truly meant a lot  *hugs*
30th-Oct-2015 04:32 pm - Will Be MIA, Again
Dad had a stroke this morning.

Hard to know where the future will take us, as it's a bad stroke, and add Alzheimer's and all but 91, and things look hard.

Disabling comments.
24th-Oct-2015 11:35 am - LJ
Just to say, with the problems they have, I have the new style Friends page ... I really, really don't like it!

ETA - All back, and "proper"
23rd-Oct-2015 12:18 pm - I Am Still Around
... But life is as hectic as ever!

I know I owe lots of replies, and am trying to keep roughly up to date with you all, but other than that life is busy ... writing letters to family and family friends ... 35 to date, and that's before I start mine!

I want to try to update soon, and will write about the funeral, again so that I don't forget details in future years.

So, no news ... actually that's a lie!  Dad is on antibiotics for a chest infection!  But nothing else to report.

Will catch up soon (I promise hope!)
16th-Oct-2015 02:25 pm - I Did It!
I had written an eulogy and wasn't happy with it. So Tuesday night I just sat and wrote, and below the cut is what I came up with.

Yes, I managed to read it at the service, as well.

I don't expect you to read as it's long, but wanted to make sure that it was kept ... also, if any of you want to read, please do.

My mummyCollapse )

I will catch up with comments and update about the funeral, but also have loads of letters to write.

Thank you, again, for the love and support.
13th-Oct-2015 04:25 pm - An Update On Time!!
Actually have a free moment to update, again, and find that yesterday was the 12 ... so thought I would do my monthlydiaryday update ... so you know what I was up to yeasterday.

My 12thCollapse )

Yes, Dad does have panics ... this afternoon we spent a lot of time going through photo albums as he was all muddled as to mum, his sister and his mother ... where they lived, etc.  I think I got him square again ... but so, so sad to see.

I have written a basic eulogy, so have sent it to Nick to see what he thinks .... Tomorrow I must take our cards down to the florist, because, although Mum is not being buried locally, we are getting the wreath from a local shop, as Dad knows them well (they also sell pet food).

Thank you for your love & support - it is what is carrying me through.
7th-Oct-2015 12:06 pm - One Week On
.... And I still feel in limbo.

I suppose keeping Dad focused and OK is taking a lot out of me, although I feel guilty to say that as there is only him my focus is slightly easier.  I think for both of us, it is hard to believe that Mum has died, because last Jan she spent almost a month in hospital, so I keep expecting to get a date for her to come home.

We met with Tim at the funeral directors, and that was not as hard as I expected.  Although it felt weird to be buying a plot in a cemetary, it somehow didn't seem wrong fro the 3 of us to talk about what wood |Mum would want her coffin veneered in.

This afternoon I am off to the solicitors (a friend of Tim ... and he will be there).  The wills are old so Dad and I are executors.  Sadly Mum spoke of re-writing last year, so I know what she had wanted, but never got it done.  The other reason for the appt is that I have to be made Dad's Power of Attourney.  Mum had never wanted it to happen as it would upset the boys, but now we have a double tragedy to sort out.

Tomorrow Dad, Jiffy and I are going to my place again ... it's a tip.  We are meeting my best friend and her husband and they are going to help me sort out the spare room again.  Nick & Tim want to just sell this house, but I am going to do this in stages.  I hope to get to work for a couple of mornings a week (to start with), which means the 3 of us staying overnight in Exeter ... thus the room clear!  I don't know if Dad will cope, if not I will re-think.

Finally I want to thank you for the lovely comments you left ... I am going to reply to them (and previous comments) over the next couple of days.  Like when Jaykub died I have been suprised by those who care ... and those who don't!

Thanks for listening.


On a slightly different note (but not!), I am trying to get back to some artwork from time to time ... to take my mind off the eulogy I have to write is the reason at the moment! So, thought I would sign up for a new comm .... I don't know how good I shall be, but I need my escape challenge ...

tvlims| Season 1 Sign ups.
30th-Sep-2015 11:15 pm - Mum ... I Will Always Love You
This is just a short update to contain the worst news. Last night Mum passed away. She had a huge stroke about a week ago, and had been in a coma since. Nick, Tim & I spent as much time with her as we could ... as did Claire. Dad visited, as did Brenda.

She knew nothing though, and we can be thankful that we know she has gone to with her Saviour.

I will update properly, soon ... I promise

 photo FullSizeRender_zpsen1y71n4.jpg

Sweet 16
 photo FullSizeRender 1_zpsvr7o6iuq.jpg

With Mum in Albania, 4 years ago
 photo WithMumatButrint-TheTheatre_zpsg7jrv13s.jpg
23rd-Sep-2015 12:10 pm - Mum
James - looking down
Just to say I may be MIA as mum is in hospital. .... Very poorly

Will update when I know more ....have disabled comments
James answering at Q&A (plus his name)
Where do the days go?  I haven't managed to answer any comments recently, I really don't know if I can ever manage to find a few moments, but will try (soon).

Mum's memory is beginning to fail slightly as well now.  Dad's is not good, with a huge loss in his vocabulary, which makes it harder than ever to try to help him.  Jiffy is doing well, and we are still managing to get for longer walks.    However I am still as "ok" as ever ... and to prove it, here is a photo that Mum took (at her insistance) when I got back from Church yesterday morning.

 photo download_zpsqlwkvvxo.png

I have also snagged a simple Alphabet Meme from FB, as it means I shall be typing something other than depressing news!!

A- Age: 54
B- Biggest Fear: Not being able help those I love  .... I also hate heights, spiders, etc
C- Current Time: 21.00
D- Drink you last had: Blackcurrant & apple squash.
E- Easiest Person To Talk to: My best friend Toni, or my sister-in-law Brenda.
F- Favorite Song: London City (James), In My Room (Beach Boys), etc
G- Ghosts, are they real: Probably.
H- Hometown: Exeter, Devon
I- In love with: ... other than James ????
J- Jealous Of: Lots of people, for lots of reasons.
K- Killed Someone? A few spiders!
L- Last time you cried?:A few days ago.
M- Middle Name: Jacqueline.
N- Number of Siblings: 2
O- One Wish: To see James again.
P- Person who you last called: Andrew (my nephew's birthday)
Q- Question you're always asked: How are you?  How are your parents?
R- Reason to smile: My faith, Jiffy,
S- Song last sang: "Oh dear, what can the matter be" (!!!!!!)
T- Time you woke up: 7.45
U- Underwear Color: White
V- Vacation Destination: None, as I can't get away.
W- Worst Habit: Procrastination.
X- X-Rays you've had: Teeth, right ankle, low back, left hand, left knee
Y- Your favorite food: Sausage and chips.
Z- Zodiac Sign: Cancer.

Well, that at least gives me an entry that is not too depressing, even if it is still boring.
13th-Sep-2015 08:18 pm - The 13th .... Not The 12th
I am a member of monthlydiaryday ... but yet again another month has gone by!

Still trying to catch up with some news on your LJ's ... but am sure I have missed loads.  I also have quite a few comments on my own LJ that needs to be replied to.  So will do a mini catch-up ....

  • Dad is not doing so well.  His vocabulary has decreased, and so it's very frustrating for him (and us).

  • Mum is not coping with Dad.  She is sure that he could "pull himself together" .... Sadly however many times I explain to her the sad truth of Alzheimer's her memory is not good either.  That doesn't help in general either as she accuses me of forgetting to tell her things.

  • Jiffy is doing well - he had a hair-cut last week, and Jackie said his skin is pretty well.

  • Saw this amazing hearse last week on a walk with Jiffy (did post on FB and Instagram)

 photo 11907376_10153574872792442_6768135140991036620_n_zpstf4lzfud.jpg

  • Today I managed to damage my right calf muscle as I skidded taking Jiffy for a walk.

  • Last Wednesday I played "hookey" from Mum!  I took the day off work - went to a stately home (photos to follow).  I also did a bit to sort out my back garden ... as well as sleeping a bit.

  • I managed to cut the grass yesterday, as well as get some work done with dad in his general garage clear-out.

Oh well I shall post this short note ... and try to get caught up with some letters I owe before heading out into the rain and to Exeter for the night.

Hope all is well with you all.
10th-Sep-2015 07:52 pm - Congratulations, Yesterday, Ma'am
Yesterday, at 17:30 BST she had reigned for 23,226 days, 16 hours and approximately 30 minutes - surpassing the reign of her great-great-grandmother Queen Victoria.

Read the full article here on the BBC web page.

I am a Royalist so was pleased to see her reach this milestone ... but whatever your political views, it is great to see how fit and active she still is (and Prince Philip) ... Especially as I see my parents going downhill.

The official photo of her
 photo _85442580_85437075_zpsrzulazij.jpg
The red box is a weekly tradition of all the government papers etc.

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